Am I behind the times? Do I live under a rock? No, scratch that. Do I live on a planet a light year away and just heard about these guys Iwrestledabearonce a few months ago, and it is actually 2010 as I write this? Seeing as I've already reviewed Aesthethica and Proliferation Of Disaster, I guess that no, it's 2011 all right. Yet here I am right now, reviewing Iwrestledabearonce's first album, with the intent of giving it a rating higher than -27 out of 5. Am I out of my mind? Do I not know the surefire reasons to hate them that you can revert back to once you're out of options? I do know, actually. They're trendy, PBR drinking, sweater-clad, huge-rimmed-glasses boasting, vintage camera collecting, vinyl supporting, hobo-like, ironic, pretentious, filthy hipsters, and therefore, logically, all that they ever might come up with is the most hateful and outrageous pap ever created. It's not like they even do the tiniest bit of effort to hide their identity. They even made a dubstep EP before dubstep was cool. So what is there, really, not to despise about this collective? Well for one thing, you have the music.
I don't mean that it is outstanding. Far from it. They aren't even all that imaginative, unless you consider playing more than one genre an astounding skill. I don't even mean that it is good. It's All Happening is riddled with problems and can get rather annoying. But it's not bad either. It's acceptable. What Iwrestledabearonce present us with is 10 songs. Each song appears to consist of bits and pieces off various unreleased Iwrestledabearonce songs, and these bits and pieces are connected together either by nothing, or, in some particularly rare cases, absolutely nothing. This means two things: First, that, as a whole, the songs' dynamics are as meditated upon and planned as a play where all the actors suffer from Tourette's; and second, you better get ready to hear lots of unnecessary sudden changes.
All in all, the album is kinda like the musical equivalent of a season of some second-rate sketch comedy. It might have its moments, it might even have some high points, but in the end you feel indifferent about it. A great example of this is the song “White Water in the Morning”. It goes perfectly well for the first two minutes, with masterful deathcore and a fantastic progression, but then the whole song, as well as my interest, is destroyed by a riff that comes out of nowhere and fails epically to change the direction the song was going in. The track limps around aimlessly for about a minute, and then settles for an unengaging riff to make an illogical fade out with. I don't think there was even a single song that I liked all the way through. There was always the out-of-place riff, lack of album flow, or even just downright boring material to partially ruin each of them.
I understand that Iwrestledabearonce are supposed to be a joke and all, I get that. But I still think that they should have worked on their strengths, rather than meticulously arranging the most random salad possible. Because they do have strengths. In fact, I believe they have all it takes to make music that is interesting. They have a knack for writing great, catchy melodies. Not to mention their proficiency in writing fantastic breakdowns, groovy and riddled with delicious subtleties. Besides, the members appear to be good behind their respective instruments.
The band only has itself to blame for all the hate it gets, though. Because if they were joking it means that they repeated the same joke 9 times too many. And if they weren't, then they simply disregarded the “songwriting” part of writing a song, named it their thing rather than a mistake, and got what they deserved. Still, I try not to care about the meaning behind music. I try to give all the of importance to the actual music. And looking at It's All Happening that way, you have a nice, kind of fun album.
Standout tracks:
You Ain't No Family
Tastes Like Kevin Bacon
Eli Cash Vs. The Godless Savages
See You In Shell
